Hello All!
Well, I'm finally back. Fire and brimstone, wind and water, storm and earthquake, all I have braved on my journey.
Danger has lurked at every turn, and many times I've been forced to fight for my vitam, my very existence. Battles won, battles lost. Companions gained, companions taken away.
Despite this, the ebb and flow of life continues on undisturbed by the chaos it harbors. Life, death, love, war - all are meaningless to the ever-advancing hands of time. And so we must move on. Dwelling on the moment is simply not an option.
As such, confusion and pain run rampant in our lives. The only thing that's certain is that nothing is certain! "Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." (James 4:13-14 ESV)
We don't know what will happen come the morrow. In fact, we don't even truly know whether we'll be alive or not! Certainty is a valuable commodity in a world of shifting shadows and dark deceptions. So hard to find, and even harder to hold.
But we've just entered a new year! The entire world rejoices together as we take yet another step in humanity's journey through time.
For many, this is a time of conviction, of deciding to do better, and to outdo yourself. Such resolutions, as we call them, are comforting. It's nice to know something in the coming year is assured.
However, yours truly is unable to share in their joy. Bit by aching bit, my world has slipped away. Granite is sand, steel is water as the defining ideals of my world pour out of the cracks.
It's quite distressing really: watching everything you thought to be unchangeable disappear, and being unable to make yourself care.
Part of me is frantic, grasping at straws and trying desperately to pull it all back together. The other man just sits there, calmly watching me scramble about for a shred of security. He already knows what to do. He just won't tell me yet. So I'm forced to try as make some sense of all this, while he just sits there and smiles sadly.
At one point, I get so fed up with his strong and silent act that I yell at him. "What are you SMIRKING at? Why don't you just help me?"
He shakes his head slowly. His ageless eyes seem to stare right into my soul as he whispers, "Only the fire can teach a boy to fear its flame."
I turn away in disgust, sick of his superior attitude. He has no right to call me boy, I think angrily. I've done and seen more than that weak coward could ever dream.
So that boy continued to search for his answer as the river of time flowed ever onward. Each day, the emptiness grew, filling his soul with an all-consuming void. Soon came the day when he could no longer tell the difference between what was and what is. Nothing is certain in this shattered corner of his mind, where love and joy turn feral and prey upon their hapless masters.
So now he sits in a corner, bruised and bloodied, scarred and wounded. He can't tell what his love was, is, or will be anymore. Tremors wrack his broken body as he cries out for help. He knows he must have faith, but blind eyes cannot direct his path. He knows he must trust, but the future of his Leader is so far away. He knows he is safe, but invisible arms offer little comfort.
He curls up to ward off the night, but the chaos invades even his dreams. And so he tosses and turns, pursued by nothing more deadly than his own fears.
The other man is still nearby, watching him sleep. When he screams, the man puts a weathered hand gently on his shoulder. "Do not be afraid, my son. Only the chaff shall burn. All will be made clear in its own time." Then he stands, steps forward, and the whole world shatters into a billion fiery shards of Oblivion.
Dear Reader: I do hope reading this was somewhat confusing. Perhaps then you'll be able to have a taste of my own confusion.
Signing off
~
Walter J. Scott
