Hello Dear Reader
Walter Scott here.
This has been quite the week. Problem after problem have piled up in a massive wreck of pain, worry, anguish, and overall depression. Each morning, I get up, renewed by my friends, ready to face the day. But as the day goes by, the hopelessness of the world crushes me in it's iron fist, until my joy and optimism are nothing more than a facade, an act to fool people into thinking I'm strong.
You ask what's making me so unbearably miserable? Here it is in a cracked, rotting nutshell.
A longing for that which I could never deserve, and anguish that it is being taken away from my outstretched arms.
Grief at the loss of friends that I want, but at the same time have to get away from.
Frustration with the inexplicable decisions of others.
And above all, an irrational, uncontrollable urge to lash out and FIGHT!! To let go of all reason and destroy everything around me, until I'm surrounded by nothing but fire, ash, and devastation.
I want to defend the ones that I love more then I love myself, but they are the ones telling me to stand down.
I want to make things right with someone, but every fiber of my being is telling me no.
I want to act on my emotions, but I know I have to wait.
I want to take control, but I know the only way to live a happy life is to relinquish control to the Creator.
All this came to a head this morning. Ever since I woke up, I've like a zombie, half dead, stumbling uncontrollably through this insane, twisted labyrinth that people call "life".
But God, in his infinite wisdom and love, had a little surprise for me. And it came from a truly unexpected source.
Today, I ran some errands around town, and one of them was dropping some stuff off at the post office.
Once there, I'd just walked into the door when I... Ah... Let's just say nature gave me an urgent call. But the post office, in the typical federal unhelpfulness, had no facilities to support such an emergency! So, putting the call on hold for a moment, I jogged across the street to the Ford dealership.
Now all morning, I'd had my iPod blasting music into my ears, desperately trying to distract me from my bleak mood. Unfortunately, it had done me not a whit of good. But as I was leaving the dealership, the song I was listening to entered the refrain, and my whole brain stopped. These were the words I heard.
Take it all, cause I can't take it any longer. All I have, I can't make it on my own. Take the first, take the last, take the good and take the rest. Here I am, all I have, take it all.
These words struck a chord deep within the melancholy surrounding me. For the first time in weeks, I finally had a release.
You see, I'm not nearly strong, wise, or good enough to manage my own life. I'm human: I mess up, make mistakes, say the wrong thing, take the wrong path, and fall on my arrogant face. But there is a better way than constant failure. You can relinquish control of your life to more capable hands: the blood-stained hands of Jesus.
By giving your life to Christ, you are entrusting everything you are to the one who created you. I mean, if you broke your cell phone, you'd want a cell technician to look at it, not a car mechanic right? In the same way, giving over control to God is the only way to fix our broken lives. We certainly can't do it on our own.
I'm not naive enough to think that I'm wiser and better equipped to handle my life than the creator of the heavens. So Lord, please take my burden away, and give me your peace to make it through the day.
That's all I've got for tonight. Farewell, dear reader. Until we meet again.
~
Walter J. Scott
That is so true. And you're not alone, we all go through those times when we feel so completely, overwhelmingly discouraged and hopeless. But God is SO faithful! We can always depend on him to give us the strength to make it through the difficulties, and have faith that he will resolve everything. Praying for you!
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